Monday, January 28, 2008

Cats Are Assholes

I didn't want to look at the house in the first place. It's in Marion, the kitchen is small, and all of the wallpaper is totally fug. Josh has been frantic about finding a house, though, so we decided to give it a look. Josh figured out within about sixty seconds that he didn't like it either, but we still wanted to check out the whole house.

As soon as we walked in, a little cat started meowing and rubbing up against my legs. I swear cats can tell I'm allergic to them so they deliberately f with me. This guy (could've been a female, but whatever) was pretty cute. He was mostly black but had white socks and a couple white spots right by his nose. I gave in after a couple minutes and bent down to pet him, explaining to him that it was probably going to make me swell up and sneeze.

Things were going well. He was totally purring and rubbing against me. We were getting along famously. Then, out of nowhere, the little asshole turned around and bit me on the wrist. Then he ran away. After that, he stayed about ten feet away from me, meowing the whole time. This was a different meow, though. When we first came, it was a sweet meow, like "Hey! Can someone pet me? You look like an animal lover, will you please pet me?" After the bite, it changed to an dickish "Haha! Sucker! 'Member that time you were petting me and I bit you? That was great! And you'll never catch me!"

Friday, January 11, 2008

Why "Maggie" Was a Bad Choice

(Not the dog, just the name)

For some reason, people can't keep our names straight. It's not like we named her Holly. This shouldn't be so freakin' hard.

1 - "Is Molly fixed?"
That was from one of Josh's dingy coworkers. I explained that I wasn't fixed, but that I'm on the pill.

2 - "Do you let Molly sleep in bed with you?"
I can't remember who asked Josh this question. His answer was no until he realized they were talking about the beagle.

3 - I swear I'm not making this one up. I'm not that creative. This is an email we got from the place in Fairfield that had Brownie. The strange thing is that she gets my name right at first, but then it all goes to hell.
I also swear that I did NOT poop in the living room.

Dear Josh & Molly,
We just received your absolutely adorable Xmas photo of Brownie and Molly together and the extremely generous Xmas gift to our shelter which is greatly and deeply appreciated. Thank you so both so much!!! We had to do a major rennovation on our dog kennels this fall to the tune of $5,000 so this definitely comes at a good time and will go towards that project. Brownie and Molly look so much a like, I didn't remember that from your visit, only I remember that one of them pooped in the living room!! Thank you so much for adopting him and giving him such a wonderful life. It makes me so happy to hear from you.