Thursday, October 23, 2008

I Am Better Than...

I found out today that I'm an elitist. Who knew? I drive a 2001 POS and have not paid full price for any article of clothing since 1995, when I bought a pair of Doc Martens from Von Maur. I don't even think I pay full price at cheap stores like Payless and Old Navy. I also really love the Zio Johnno's lunch special. They have awesome veggie lasagne that comes with a hugeass basket of garlic bread AND a soda for $4.99. It's ridiculous. I'm actually a little choked up thinking about the buttery bread.

Anyway, I'm an elitist. According to Sarah Palin, this is "anyone who thinks that they're better than someone else."

That's bad news for me. I think that I'm better than a lot of people, including (but not limited to):
  • Boob
  • Anyone still working at ESP
  • The douchy manager I had before Boob at ESP that works at Rockwell now
  • All of Josh's ex-girlfriends
  • All of my ex-boyfriends
  • 99% of my students from LaGrange High School in Lake Charles, LA (this includes the kid that told me to lick his balls and the kid that said I fell off the stupid tree. Side note - I wonder what those little f'ers are doing now.)
  • People that hunt bears
  • People that wear fur
  • People with non-ironic mullets
  • Women whose husbands refer to them as "the wife"
  • People that think AC/DC "rocks"
  • People that own Creed CDs
  • People that see movies like Norbit
  • People that like the new Good & Fruity
  • Michelle Bachmann
  • Cat people
  • Everyone eating at Applebees right now (I'm assuming)
  • Sarah Palin
I could go on for days. Maybe I'll do a Part II later.


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