Monday, January 28, 2008

Cats Are Assholes

I didn't want to look at the house in the first place. It's in Marion, the kitchen is small, and all of the wallpaper is totally fug. Josh has been frantic about finding a house, though, so we decided to give it a look. Josh figured out within about sixty seconds that he didn't like it either, but we still wanted to check out the whole house.

As soon as we walked in, a little cat started meowing and rubbing up against my legs. I swear cats can tell I'm allergic to them so they deliberately f with me. This guy (could've been a female, but whatever) was pretty cute. He was mostly black but had white socks and a couple white spots right by his nose. I gave in after a couple minutes and bent down to pet him, explaining to him that it was probably going to make me swell up and sneeze.

Things were going well. He was totally purring and rubbing against me. We were getting along famously. Then, out of nowhere, the little asshole turned around and bit me on the wrist. Then he ran away. After that, he stayed about ten feet away from me, meowing the whole time. This was a different meow, though. When we first came, it was a sweet meow, like "Hey! Can someone pet me? You look like an animal lover, will you please pet me?" After the bite, it changed to an dickish "Haha! Sucker! 'Member that time you were petting me and I bit you? That was great! And you'll never catch me!"


Anonymous Anonymous said...


Why must you make fon of cats and people with short arms? I have both.

Please to be nicer, bword


8:34 PM  

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