Wednesday, September 13, 2006

An Open Letter to Society, Fashion, and Leggings

Look, just because "They" are telling you that the 80s are coming back doesn't mean that you have to buy into it. If all of us join together and refuse to wear leggings, Kelly Kapowski off-the-shoulder tops, and jeans that come up to our necks while tapering neatly at the bottom (with PUMPS, no less), then these abominations will simply disappear. You realize that it took one stupid f'er to whisper, "Hey, I hear the 80s are coming back!" to start this whole craze.

What are you thinking? Seriously.

Go away. You're not wanted anymore. I'm not saying we didn't have good times, but it's over. Sure, you were comfortable, and you looked great with my white socks, turtleneck, and my brother's XXXL flannet shirt, but that was all in the past. You're like that guy I dated my freshman year. He was fine at the time, but looking back, I kinda feel silly about it. We really looked ridiculous together. Please give me back my CDs and stop calling all the time. I have Caller ID on my phone, which I know you don't understand because it wasn't around in your glory days, but it means I know it's you on the other end even when you just sit there, listening to my voice. I've moved on. So should you.