Sunday, May 14, 2006

An Open Letter To My Family

Don't get me wrong. I think you're great. I just think we need to spend some time apart. It's not you, it's me.

Actually, that's a lie. It IS you.

Check back in a few months and we'll see if I'm emotionally prepared to deal with you all again.

And no, we can't still be friends.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is one break up where I promise I won't feel bad either.
Now you have to finally understand why before fun-filled family weekends I begin developing a nervous twitch in my eye, have a face full of zits, seek out quiet corners where I can rock back and forth, and practice my famous "small doses, small doses, small doses..." mantra.

If you love something set it free....

10:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Send the papers to our attorney so you don't violate the restraining order. We are anxiously waiting to sign.

11:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

luckily, the witness protection program isn't just for witnesses anymore.

--mark adams (formerly matt mcgrane)

3:15 PM  

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