Suck-cago
I went to Chicago last weekend for Chrissellis's 30th birthday bash. I have a lot less money now than I did a week ago. Chicago officially bites my ass, and here's why:
1) 30 minute traffic delays at 4:00 pm on a Saturday: Is that really necessary?
2) Honkers: Chicago drivers get in their cars and start honking immediately. It's like their cars run on honks, not gas.
3) Lakeshore drive: The same crazy-ass drivers go about 90 mph down this curvy road with lanes approximately 4 feet wide, cutting me off and honking all the while. I usually end up sobbing and missing my exit.
4) Cabbies: I have never gotten out of a cab in Chicago and thought, "Wow, that was some good driving. At no time did I feel that death was imminent."
5) Drink prices: $11 for a Red Bull and vodka? Seriously? You are going to look me in the eye and charge me $11 for a Red Bull and WELL vodka? I could buy a bottle of Skol and a 4-pack of Red Bull, turn on some crappy music, and sit on a couch at my own house. I'd be spending less, plus I wouldn't have to wear pants if I didn't want to.
6) White Sox fans.
7) Lines at crappy bars: I don't do lines. Do they know who I am?
8) 2 bottles of wine at 4:00 in the goddamn morning: I suppose that could happen anywhere, but only if Lorelle is involved, and she's in Chicago, so it goes on the list.
The nice thing is that I won the "Screw With Random Strangers" contest. I wasn't paying much attention until I found out that other people were playing, so then I couldn't relax until I had a comfortable lead.I have this disease that causes me to become ridiculously competitive once I find out someone else is winning something. This is exactly why I placed so high in the wet t-shirt contest back when I was skinny enough to ever even think about entering something like that. I really didn't give a rat's ass about winning drink tickets, since I was already drinking for free.
I just went back and deleted a whole paragraph. Suddenly I was getting into all kinds of details about the above-mentioned contest, until I remembered that Josh has told the entire English-speaking world about my blog, and I don't want my great-Aunt Rose reading about where the winner was pierced. She's got a weak ticker as it is.
1) 30 minute traffic delays at 4:00 pm on a Saturday: Is that really necessary?
2) Honkers: Chicago drivers get in their cars and start honking immediately. It's like their cars run on honks, not gas.
3) Lakeshore drive: The same crazy-ass drivers go about 90 mph down this curvy road with lanes approximately 4 feet wide, cutting me off and honking all the while. I usually end up sobbing and missing my exit.
4) Cabbies: I have never gotten out of a cab in Chicago and thought, "Wow, that was some good driving. At no time did I feel that death was imminent."
5) Drink prices: $11 for a Red Bull and vodka? Seriously? You are going to look me in the eye and charge me $11 for a Red Bull and WELL vodka? I could buy a bottle of Skol and a 4-pack of Red Bull, turn on some crappy music, and sit on a couch at my own house. I'd be spending less, plus I wouldn't have to wear pants if I didn't want to.
6) White Sox fans.
7) Lines at crappy bars: I don't do lines. Do they know who I am?
8) 2 bottles of wine at 4:00 in the goddamn morning: I suppose that could happen anywhere, but only if Lorelle is involved, and she's in Chicago, so it goes on the list.
The nice thing is that I won the "Screw With Random Strangers" contest. I wasn't paying much attention until I found out that other people were playing, so then I couldn't relax until I had a comfortable lead.I have this disease that causes me to become ridiculously competitive once I find out someone else is winning something. This is exactly why I placed so high in the wet t-shirt contest back when I was skinny enough to ever even think about entering something like that. I really didn't give a rat's ass about winning drink tickets, since I was already drinking for free.
I just went back and deleted a whole paragraph. Suddenly I was getting into all kinds of details about the above-mentioned contest, until I remembered that Josh has told the entire English-speaking world about my blog, and I don't want my great-Aunt Rose reading about where the winner was pierced. She's got a weak ticker as it is.
posted by Molly at 4:00 PM
3 Comments:
haha....you said, "honkers".
Well, at least you remembered that wine was involved that night. I brought up the 2 bottles of wine to Dan and he said, and I quote, "There was wine? Did I have any? Huh, I remember playing that game and I was drinking *something*, well, must have been wine."
Remember when that guy got in trouble with his girlfriend for letting you put lipstick on him so he could kiss chrissellis? I would've liked to have seen how that fight played out.
Ok was this the same winner from my Bachorlette Party....cuz if I remember....she was pierced too. Is this a career thing for her? Ok, do you even remember me. Remember that one time I even called you at work cuz I missed you so much. I think I was from a radio station or something cuz she couldn't get NAWS China Lake right. Well just so you know....I'm stuck in Cali for another 4 so you think you don't see me now, it's gonna be a whole lot less since Rob will be gone and I'll have no one to watch the puppies!!!
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