Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Hypocrisy and Donuts

Josh told me I had no self-control yesterday. I was complaining that I was full after eating two monster cookie bars, and he threw that at me. Hello? They were monster cookie bars. Oatmeal, peanut butter, chocolate chips, M&Ms, and general naughtiness are not things to control oneself around. Plus they were in bar form, which means if you get a middle piece, it's going to be extra gooey and soft, just like the middle of a cookie.

More disturbing was the fact that it was JOSH telling ME that I had no self-control. This is the guy that ate five Krispy Kremes in a single morning. It's famous among my family members. We were talking about how gross we felt and going around the table talking about how many we had eaten (average of two per person) then it got to Josh, who couldn't talk because he had a donut stuffed in his mouth. He just held up four fingers and kept eating. My sister asked him if it was four including the half-eaten one he was working on and he just shook his head.

This is also the guy that had to pull over and puke because he ate too much at the Macaroni Grill, the same Macaroni Grill he and I went on one of our first dates. He ate too much on the date, too, and while he didn't actually throw up, we couldn't go to a movie because he felt too sick.

I'm not saying I'm perfect or have anything resembling self-control, I'm just saying if anyone gets to criticize my lack of it, Josh probably isn't the one. That's like me telling someone they drink too much. Or my sister Ann saying that someone likes talking on the phone too much. Or my old roommate saying someone likes foot fetish porn too much. Or Maggie saying someone eats too much bread or coffee beans. Or Chrissellis saying someone's Halloween costume is too tight (see attached image). Or Sara Somsky, my freshman year roommate, saying that someone likes board games and Garfield too much. Or that someone's braid is too long or back is too zitty.
Okay, this could get ugly, so I'll quit.


Anonymous JB said...

Um, for the record...the Macaroni Grill incident was over 5 years ago and the donut pounding was at least 2 years ago. I'm a recovering no-controlaholic. -Josh

12:16 PM  
Anonymous lorelle said...

You're such a tease. I KNOW you have a picture of the entire dragon costume in all its glory . . .

12:42 PM  

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