Tuesday, January 17, 2006


So, Boob isn't getting much better. He really seems to be a nice guy, but I have absolutely no respect for him. I'm much smarter than he is, and I don't think there's anything I can learn from him. Every now and then he launches into a Captain Obvious lecture about the goddamn bottom line, but we've all learned to tune him out and nod in the appropriate places. Boob has also established himself as a sexist bastard, in my book. There have been several instances that add up to the result of either a total jackass that doesn't think before opening his silly mouth, or a vertically challenged misogynist.

Exhibit A: The Strip Club
During our first meeting with Boob, he was tooting his own horn (I don't like that phrase. I have never liked that phrase. I don't know why I just used it) about how he knows how to read people in order to get the best results. We have a historically crappy vendor that will always be crappy, and he was saying that sometimes the best way to deal with people like that isn't to threaten them or pull the business. Instead, he would just fly out there, take him to a strip club, and work it out over beers. And beaver.
There are SO many things wrong with that. This was his first meeting with us. He had no way of knowing whether anyone would be offended by the very mention of strip clubs. I personally am mostly amused by strippers, although they terrify me a little. Boob couldn't have known that. One of the guys I work with could be a Morman, or something. Anyway, all that aside? Still offensive. It implies that the decisionmakers in these companies are men, or stripper-loving lesbos.

Exhibit B: Boobies
I totally caught Boob checking out The Girls. I wasn't even wearing anything too scandalous. It was this pink sweater I got at Old Navy on clearance for $6.99. I guess when I leaned on the table to eat my bagel, they were spotted. I glanced up while I was chewing to make eye contact so he would think I was listening to his boobery just as he was tearing his eyes away. When I mentioned that to Tanner, he said at one point I leaned across the table to address them and Boob honed right in. Poor Girls. There should be a screening process before a person is even allowed to be within twenty feet of them. The criteria would include things like being taller than 5'1", not having freakishly small carny hands, and not being named "Boob."

Exhibit C:
We had our reviews last week. I was quizzing Boob on opportunities at the company, because I hear about them all the time but nothing seems to open. When I started there, they promised there would eventually be something in marketing or strategy. I'm still holding my breath. Boob was going down a list of possibilities, and mentioned a facility we might need to staff. That little f'er actually said to me, "Just because you're a woman doesn't mean you can't be a warehouse or production supervisor."
First of all, no thanks. This was right after I told him I had a background in marketing and wanted to do something in that field. And seriously? Seriously? Do people really say things like that? I don't care what anyone says about him just trying to encourage me or present opportunities that a woman normally wouldn't go after. That's ridiculous. F'ing boob. I tried to point out that what he said came across very, very badly, but he didn't get it. If he said to a black person, "Just because you're black..." that would automatically be considered racist. I don't see how this is any different. If he had taken it back after I pointed it out, it wouldn't have been so bad, but he really doesn't understand that what he said was wrong. F'ing moron.

Exhibit D: Porno Police
Boob is obsessed with pornography. Several times, he has walked into the room and said something along the lines of, "Boss is here, close all the porn sites!" *insert comedic pause here* "On second thought, leave 'em open!"
Hilarity ensues.
I haven't actually heard this, but my coworkers have. The only time he came close when I was in the room was after a guy from another department had been job shadowing me for a little while. Boob said something like, "So, did she show you where all the good porn sites are?" The other guy laughed, and I said, "I am SO not comfortable with that." I like the other guy and would gladly discuss porn sites with him, but Boob doesn't need to know that.

I have plenty of other issues with Boob, but I think people could just blow those off as me being a bitch and not wanting a manager. Everything I've mentioned here is totally legit and could easily get someone fired. That company is so f'ed up. I get bitched at for wearing a coat in a 40 f'ing degree office, yet Boob gets to stare at my boobies, talk about strippers and porn, and set the women's lib movement back to 1950 and he's probably making twice what I make. If that place had a cash register, I'd take money out of it. And I'd pee in the pickles.


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