Monday, November 14, 2005


Today I emailed a woman I work with that a part she had on order had been discontinued. She emailed back three words:

"No shit, Sherlock."

I actually shrieked a little bit. I don't know if anyone has ever said that to me. I can't even think of a time I've actually said it TO someone, and I say bitchy things all the time. I've thought it plenty of times and maybe said it as I was telling a story or something. That doesn't count, though. "No shit" is already a kick in the teeth. Throw in the "Sherlock" and you're kicking me in the ribs after I fall down from the kick to the teeth, then peeing on me and taking my wallet.

I was stammering when I tried to express my outrage to Bill and Jason. They couldn't believe it, either. For one thing, this woman doesn't have a mean bone in her body. She is actually so nice it's annoying. She's the kind of person that has to start a conversation with everyone she passes. One day I was at the printer and I heard her start telling a story about her niece sleepwalking and asking about a turkey. When I turned around, I realized she had been talking to me the whole time. I had to smile and say, "Wow, that's weird," and quickly act very interested in what I had just printed so she'd stop talking to me. It didn't really work. She followed me back to my desk and didn't finish her goddamn story until my phone rang and cut her short. The call was even from this d-bag that I normally send straight to voicemail, but I took it as a gift from God that day.

The other thing that pissed me off so much is that the part I was emailing her about was discontinued at the beginning of the year. That's right, eleven fucking months ago. If anyone should have been no-shit-sherlocking someone, it should have been me? If she was so goddamn smart to know the part was discontinued, WTF was she doing putting an order in?

She sent another email about 15 minutes later explaining that she had piles of work to do and she would have time tomorrow to go through and change the orders. The damage was already done, though. Next time I see her I'm going to break her glasses and slit her throat with one of the larger glass shards.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Molly!

11:11 PM  

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