Sunday, March 05, 2006

Poop Eyes

We had a three hour meeting with Boob on Thursday. It's almost cute the way he thinks he's actually our boss. After the meeting, I had 3 emails and two missed calls from Josh. I checked my hotmail, and he just said that he had done something bad and didn't want to tell me over email. He also said I would be getting something new. I automatically assumed the worst and figured he had lost one of the dogs, and rather than looking for it, he was just going to get us a new one.
After a few rounds of phone tag, I finally got him on the phone. Apparently, after he flushed his morning poo, he moved my brush from the sink to the shelf right above the toilet. A few things shifted, and my glasses fell into the flushing water. He reached in (yes, he put his hand in the toilet. He claims the poo was already gone), but it was too late. My husband flushed my glasses down the toilet. I can't make this shit up.
I really loved those, and I know Josh did, too. They were my naughty librarian/dirty secretary/ militant lesbian glasses. I was wearing them at least 2-3 times a week, something I hadn't done since I started wearing contacts when I was a freshman in high school. It makes me sad to think of them in a pipe somewhere, floating in all the neighborhood's poo, wondering what they had done to deserve such a filthy end. Josh said we could get someone to come out and drag our pipes, but even if that didn't break or scratch them, I don't think I could bring myself to put them on my face. Even if we boiled them in bleach for a week straight, I wouldn't be able to think of anything but where they had been. People would call me Poop Eyes and there wouldn't be anything I could do about it.


Blogger Kristin said...

I guess it's just better than Poopy, like a chick I went to college with that had a habit of shatting herself when intoxicated. I don't care what you say...there were some hotties at NASCAR..and if you EVER call me Krissy Jo to my face I will disembowel you.

3:29 PM  

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