Wednesday, March 22, 2006


Boob is out of the office all week at a convention. The VP had been saying all along that if he hadn't learned our system by this week, she was going to send someone else because it would be a waste to have him there. Sure enough, he hasn't learned the system (because he's a boob) and they sent him anyway. This would bother me a lot more if it didn't mean I was free of his boobery for a whole week, but it just goes to show what a bunch of half-assers and liars that I work for. No wonder they like Boob so much.

One of the nicest things about having him gone is being able to talk without worrying about him in his office eavesdropping. It's not even that we're talking about bad things, it's just that he has to comment on shit we're saying or try to get involved. It's really the worst kind of eavesdropping. In its mildest form, when someone is just listening in out of curiosity, it's annoying but tolerable. The next level is a little worse, when someone is listening so they can gossip about it later. The worst level, Boobdropping, is when someone is listening so they have an "in" to start a conversation with the talkers later on.

A couple weeks ago, I was saying that I was going to be in Minneapolis to one of my coworkers in a polite, conversational tone. Later, Boob came out and said, "So, whatcha doin in Minneapolis?" My period was over and I was in a great mood, so I didn't tell him that it was none of his goddamn business. He does stuff like that all the time. When we were discussing what to bet for our brackets (we settled on a 6er of tallboys. I love tallboys), Boob practically tripped over his short little legs rushing out to find out if we were starting a pool. We lied and said no.

I just realized that Boobdropping might not be the best term for this, but I can't think of another. Boobdropping is more what the woman who trained me in customer service did to me when she'd type around me. I'd always try to get out of the way and offer my chair, but she was too quick. Before I could move, I had two arms around me and a boob resting on each shoulder while her freakishly long nails clickity-clacked away on my keyboard. I can still here that raspy, nasty cough in my worst nightmares. Sometimes I wake up screaming. She's the one that misused fetish ("I have a staple fetish." Dirty!) and said "coolie beans" and "anyhoozie". She's been gone at least 8 months, but it seems like yesterday that I was back in my customer service chair, being boobed and coughed upon.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You can also be boobdropped while having a haircuct. You have to go home and hope a shower will take the dirty feeling away. The real shitter is the extra fifteen bucks you paid for a "style" goes down the drain too.

11:56 AM  

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