Saturday, April 22, 2006

Classy. Very Classy.

I'm getting bitched at for not blogging lately. Know what? Start your own f'ing blog. It's not my fault that my life is dull and lame and there's nothing to write about. Oh wait, maybe that is my fault. Whatever.
Josh and I went to Blend (I will spell it with a capital B and it will like it. I'm not going to feed into their ee cummings lowercase bullshit) with some money we made by doing a psychological profile thingy at the U of I. We had to fill out about a hundred pages of personality tests and do this little videotaped segment where one person had to guess the meaning of an ambiguous phrase the other one said. For one, I had to say, "What are you doing?" and Josh had to figure out if my tone suggested I was curious, startled, or pissed off. One of his questions had to do with showering, and one of my options for his meaning had the words "sex play." I f'ing lost it. We were giggling like schoolgirls the whole time. I'm surprised they paid us.
Anyway, we got all dressed up and were both looking smokin' hot. It's one of the few classy places in this shithole, so I was on my best behavior. I know how to act in social situations when I want to. I chew politely with my mouth closed, my napkin is on my lap, and I even break off little pieces of bread and butter them individually rather than buttering the whole piece and eating it like a goddamn savage. I don't know why that bugs me so much. There's just something gross about people sticking a big hunk of bread up to their mouth and ripping it apart. Anyway, we were being all hot and sophisticated, talking about grown-up things, when I noticed that it smelled like something was burning and the flame from the candle had suddenly gotten much higher. Apparently, one of us (Josh. I'm sure it was Josh) had flipped the napkin covering the bread basket onto the candle. Luckily, the napkin was made of some futuristic flame-redardant material. The hole was only about the size of a silver dollar. But either way. We set a napkin on fire. Seriously? Who else does that shit happen to?


Blogger Kristin said...

I thought Josh banned you from expressing yourself through curse words...or was that just the Fbomb. But I'm really feeling your angst on this one.

2:09 PM  

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