More Drama In Da Hood

I usually get the least sleep during the week on Sunday nights. I usually wait up for Josh, even if I go to bed. I end up falling asleep around 11:30 or so, which should give me a solid 6 1/2 hours of sleep, but there are always pee trips, noisy dogs and/or husband, and the asshole birds that hang out in the tree in our backyard. Last night, it was cooler outside than it was in the house, so I had the big bright idea to turn off the air and open the windows. That stupid-ass decision cost me any hope of a decent sleep.

Less than two hours after I fell asleep, there was a loud bang followed by shouting. My half-asleep mind immediately thought of gunshots, but after a few more bangs I realized it was doors slamming. The shouting went on for at least 20 minutes. F-bombs were flying everywhere. I couldn't make much out, but I heard the word "money" a couple times, so in my dreamy paranoid world, I assumed that they were fighting on how they would kill Josh and I before taking the money we found the other night. It sounded like the shouting was coming from those apartments.

When I fully woke up, I figured out that it was probably just a drunken or coked-up fight that would end soon enough. The shouting stopped for several minutes, so I started to fall back to sleep, already panicking about having to wake up in a few hours. As soon as I drifted off, the shouting started again, but this time there was also a woman screaming. Not screaming as in "yelling real loud", but actual shrill, wordless screaming. It scared the bejesus out of me. Josh was in the middle of dialing the police, but while he was watching out the window, 4 cop cars pulled up. We heard an official-sounding voice call, "Hey, you! Get back here!" followed by a lot more shouting. Oh yeah, and the whole time, the crazy male voice kept yelling, "F you!" over and over. Josh theorized that the perp (I learned that word from Cops) was inviting the do-gooder who had called the po-po to have relations with him/herself.

I stayed in bed the whole time, trying not to fully wake up, but Josh moved to the window to get a better listen. He said it sounded like the screaming girl was getting taken to the clink, too. She kept saying, "It's not his fault!" and while they were cuffing her, she started talking REALLY dirty about handcuffs and such. He couldn't see the apartment because a house was blocking the view, so he only saw all the cop cars in the street. We're wondering if the culprits were Trixie and Grill (a.k.a. Babydaddy) from Friday night. At one point, Josh entertained the idea of yelling at them to shut the F up, but I talked him out of it.

After all that, I slept like ass. To make matters worse, one of the dogs started growling in the living room just a little while later. They never growl, so I was sure some masked psychopath was trying to find the best way into our house to slowly eat us. As soon as I fell into a deep sleep, the goddamn birds started in. I shut the windows and turned on the fan for noise, but then my goddamn allergies started in. I sneezed about twelve times in a row and my nose started running. Once I got up to blow my nose, Maggie assumed it was time to eat breakfast, so she stood by the edge of the bed, whining and wagging her tail so her tags jingled. I talked her into going back to sleep, but by that point, I only had about 45 minutes before the alarm was going to go off.

What sucks about the whole thing (besides the obvious) is that we can't get the details from anyone because we don't really like or don't know the neighbors between us and the ruckus. The neighbors that we like probably didn't notice or had an even worse view than we did. The unobstructed views would have come from Mr. Seyba, who wouldn't have woken up because he is a troll and therefore sleeps in a cave he dug in his basement, the people who bought their kids a trampoline and let them light off bottle rockets for hours at a time from June 1-August 31, or other people we haven't ever bothered to meet. If I run into someone while I'm walking the dogs (although I may avoid walking them in that area for fear of finding more drug money or running into Grill), I will try to get the scoop. Until then, I would like to extend a great big "F You!" to everyone that kept me up last night, including those little shithead birds.